Got some crappy red wine that you really don't fancy serving to anyone, even yourself? You need to make Sangria! I swear this was invented by bars and restaurants to be able to charge full-on cocktail prices for what is effectively watered down poor quality wine. So make your own.
1/2 measure
.
1 bottle wine
1/4 -1/2 cup triple sec
1/4 - 1/2 cup rum or brandy
1/4 - 1/2 cup juice(s)
1/2 - 2 cups mixer (soda)
1/8 - 3/4 cup sweetener
1 - 2 cups fruit